It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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