im about as happy as oj after his trial
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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