I only kidnapped one of them. chill
no, he came in my armpit
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
