i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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