we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
