Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
