I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
