Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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