was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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