Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
