I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
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He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
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I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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