I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
