I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
