he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
