The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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