"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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