The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
