the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
