You can't motorboat a personality
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
