I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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