Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
