he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize