I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
