Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
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EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
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Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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