I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
