she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
