you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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