Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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