butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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