walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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