So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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