I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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