Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
