The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You're a waste of cheezeits
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
