Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
