I hope mine doesn't look like that
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
