You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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