Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
