the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I have tasted many bathrooms
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
