Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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