The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
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