Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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