I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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