I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
