I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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