He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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