mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Shame - the story of my life.
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