when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
