I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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