Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
