He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
MIDGETS
????
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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