Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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