____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
