just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
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Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
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Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
tell me about the eggs
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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