I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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