How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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