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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
