i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
you traded sex for a burrito?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i came on her dog
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
