I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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