I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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