do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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