You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
