I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
